IN THE DARKNESS OF DAWN
by Misao Shinomori
Summary: What can rejection, sadness, and hate do to a girl, and not just any girl but to Misao? This songfic has lyrics mainly by Evanescence and guest songs by A.F.I., Mana and Juanes.
1. To Live Without Air

Usual disclaimers apply, I haven't, don't, or will ever own Rurouni Kenshin, it belongs to Watsuki-san and Sony. Please don't sue, just an upcoming freshman who has to pay for tuition and stuff.  
  
Chapter One: To live without air (Vivir sin Aire) (this is the 2nd version)  
  
In the early morning everyone in the house was dormant, except for one ninja girl. A petite figure was emerging from one of the rooms. Her name was Misao Makimachi; a seventeen year-old woman with long black hair tied in a braid, creamy pale skin, and intense blue eyes. She was known to be gregarious, most of the time buffoon, tomboy. She had woken up early to practice a new ability, cuisine! She didn't know how to cook since she was always worrying about her training and missions. She wanted to keep her abilities in martial arts in a good level since she was the Okashira now. When she finished making miso soup, everyone was in the kitchen. "Ohayou!" she said to everyone and immediately received a powerful hug from Okina. When he released her from his grasp, Okon and Omasu greeted Misao. They started to put the table when Shiro and Kuro came in. They all seated around the table ready to eat. She was happy to see her "family" together, but she noticed that someone was missing. That someone missing was no other than Aoshi Shinomori. The twenty-seven year-old man with black-jet hair, tall, muscular, with penetrating ice blue eyes. He once had been her protector and debonair to her, but now he was an arcane, cold person. He used to be the echelon of the group, but after he betrayed the Oniwabanshuu he lost his title resulting in Misao becoming the leader. She finished eating her soup and went to Aoshi's room. She wanted to see if Aoshi liked her soup and secretly hoped that he could see that she was becoming a woman too. She knocked and he told her to come in. She was blushing but regained her composure and walked towards him. He was staring through his window. He was meditating, always avoiding her. He grabbed the bowl from her hands and started to eat. After a while Misao talked. "Did you liked it? It's the first time I cook and I wanted to know if I had cooked it right." He just nodded and handed the empty bowl back to her. "If you excuse me, I would like to be alone now." She obeyed ignoring the painful aperture in her heart and left. He had been circumventing her for one reason. When she turned seventeen he discovered that he didn't look her as a little sister, now he looked her as a woman and he was starting to feel something different for her. He knew it was wrong; she was for him a celestial and gossamer woman who deserved someone better than him, someone who could give her happiness not pain. He had to expunge her from his mind. He couldn't love her. After finishing her training and taking a bath, she went to her room and lied on the futon. She started to think about today's events and focused on what happened when she was with him. Even though she was a strong and proud girl, she couldn't hold her tears when it came to him. She was dying inside, she wanted so much for him to become the man he once was and love her. But she knew that couldn't be true. With that thought she went to sleep to dream about him.  
Morning came and she woke up with a bizarre determination to tell him how she felt about him. She got up, dressed and went to the kitchen to prepare some tea for him. She was nervous but filled with determination. She carried a tray with tea and knocked on his door. He told her to come in and she did. She sat in front of him and started to serve him his tea. He could see that she wanted to say something and she was going to say it no matter what. She took a deep breath and said what she had wanted to say to him since long time ago. "I.want to tell you something really important. I know this may sound weird but I have meditated over It and came to a simple conclusion and I know is true. I love you Aoshi," and waited for his response. He just stared at her and said nothing, he was really good hiding his emotions, but in the inside he was shocked. He then fearing of what may happen told her to leave him alone. That made her angry and started to act bellicose. "Can't you see that I truly love you?! I know that you feel something for me! Why don't you stop acting cold towards me? I can get rid of your loneliness and make you happy, please Aoshi". He was in shock again, but this time he was showing it. He didn't know that she loved him that much, he thought it was just a childish infatuation, but then remembered the reasons why he couldn't love her. "Misao.don't waste your and my time with your silly infatuation. Stop pestering around with that. Leave me alone and never show your face again!" he yelled at her. She couldn't believe it, hot tears began to roll on her face and she made it to the door, turned around and said her last words to him, "you are so cold, fine then if loneliness is what you want then that's what you'll get!!" and left. He felt a deep pain in his heart when she said those words, but remembered that his intentions were bona fide, so he didn't go after her.  
  
How I want to live without air,  
  
How I want to live without water,  
  
I would like to love you less,  
  
How I want to live without you.  
  
Como quisiera poder vivir sin aire,  
  
Como quisiera poder vivir sin agua,  
  
Me encantaria quererte un poco menos,  
  
Como quisiera poder vivir sin ti.  
  
She went to her room, sank on her futon, and started to cry on her pillow. "It all resulted in a complete fiasco", she thought. It hurt more that she could bare, it had been a gauntlet and she didn't pass it. If he was healed why he had to still act coldly towards anyone, especially her? She was frustrated and felt herself giving up.  
  
But I'm unable,  
  
I fell like dying,  
  
I'm drowning without your love.  
  
Pero no puedo,  
  
Siento que muero,  
  
Me estoy ahogando sin tu amor.  
  
But how can one live without love? She needed him so she could feel love and feel alive, like a fish needs water to swim and live. She just wanted to just get rid of this feeling towards him, but she felt herself dying.  
  
How I want to live without air,  
  
How I want to calm my sorrow,  
  
How I want to live without water,  
  
I would love to steal your heart.  
  
Como quisiera poder vivir sin aire,  
  
Como quisiera calmar mi aflicción,  
  
Como quisiera poder vivir sin agua,  
  
Me encantaria robar tu corazon.  
  
She just wanted to get rid of this great sorrow and to truly smile and feel alive again. She wanted so much for him to truly love her, she wanted to steal his heart. She had tried enough, and for what, for nothing? Yeah, it looked like it.  
  
How could a fish swim without water,  
  
How could a bird fly without wings,  
  
How could a flower grow without soil,  
  
How I want to live without you.  
  
Como pudiera un pez nadar sin agua,  
  
Como pudiera una ave volar sin alas,  
  
Como podria la flor crecer sin tierra,  
  
Como quisiera poder vivir sin ti.  
  
She saw it was pointless getting his attention and that she should just leave him alone and go on with her life. But a life without him would be miserable. But you're miserable already, being close to him while he ignores you it's killing you, almost like you're drowning. She felt herself an annoyance to him First he was supposed to be her guardian, second she had taken his title, and third she was a crazy, genki, and tomboy teenager to him.  
  
But I'm unable,  
  
I fell like dying,  
  
I'm drowning without your love.  
  
Pero no puedo,  
  
Siento que muero,  
  
Me estoy ahogando sin tu amor.  
  
But still her heart refused to leave him, it was hurting, it craved his love. But no! Her mind had to win in this. She knew the facts and she had to face reality.  
  
How I want to live without air,  
  
How I want to calm my sorrow,  
  
How I want to live without water,  
  
I would love to steal your heart.  
  
Como quisiera poder vivir sin aire,  
  
Como quisiera clamar mi aflicción,  
  
Como quisiera poder vivir sin agua,  
  
Me encantaria robar tu corazon.  
  
If only she could live without his love, but someone else's. She might be happy with another man, and maybe that man will calm her sorrow and give her love and happiness which Aoshi will never give her.  
  
How I want to cast you into oblivion,  
  
How I want to keep you in a drawer,  
  
How I want to erase you with a breath.  
  
Como quisiera lanzarte al olvido,  
  
Como quisiera guardarte en un cajon,  
  
Como quisiera borrarte de un soplido.  
  
She just wanted to forget him forever, to erase him from her mind, and go on with her life. She wouldn't be a burden anymore to him or to anyone. She decided that the only way to forget him was to leave, away from Kyoto, away from him. She packed her things and in the middle of the night she escaped. Escaped away from the misery, from the daily torture, from the heartache, from him. She turned one last time and whispered, "How I want to live without you."  
  
I would love to kill this song.  
  
Me encantaria matar esta cancion.  
  
YAY!!!! MY FIRST FIC! OH YEAH LET ME INTRODUCE MYSELF. I'M THE PRETTY, LATIN AMERICAN, STRONG, AND CRAZY MISAO SHINOMORI!!!!! I KNOW I'M SO CRAZY FOR AXM THAT MY EMAIL IS misaoaoshi7@yahoo.com, AND I CAN'T STILL BELIEVE THAT I HAVE IT!! :D LOL :P THIS FIC WAS PART OF MY ENGLISH ASSIGMENT (EXCEPT FOR THE SONG) AND I GOT AN "A"!!! BEING A SENIOR IS HARD, OH WELL. I LOVE ROCK FROM DIFFERENT COUNTRIES. THIS SONG IS FROM THE MEXICAN ROCK GROUP "MANA" AND THE TITLE OF THE SONG IS "TO LIVE WITHOUT AIR," IT'S SUCH A GREAT SONG, I RECOMMEND IT TO ANYONE, AND IF YOU BUY THE MTV UNPLUGGED VERSION THERE ARE TRANSLATIONS OF THE SONGS (BUT MOST OF THEM AREN'T TRANSLATED RIGHT). WELL SAYONARA AND ONEGAI REVIEW!!!!!!! @o@ OROOOO!!!!!! EH.WHERE DID THAT CAME FROM? DO YOU WANT SOME WAFFLES? 


	2. A Far Away Day

I'll say for the second time, I don't own the characters!!!!!! They belong to Watsuki-san and Sony. Well I do, hopelessly wished that I owned Aoshi, but one can dream ne?  
  
Chapter Two: a Far Away Day (Un Dia Lejano)(second version)  
  
There's a lot of noise outside, is so early. I wonder what happened. Aoshi said mentally to himself. He was woken up by an altercation; he didn't have a clue that it was about Misao. Everyone was in the hallway with egregious expressions on their faces. Omasu was sobbing while Kuro tried to comfort her. Okon was yelling at Okina while Shiro just watched. Okon saw Aoshi and ran towards him. "She left! Misao left, Aoshi-san!" He couldn't believe it, he ran to Misao's room to find it empty. He knew it was his fault and immediately sent word to the other ninjas all over Japan. Days passed and nothing. She was hidden somewhere and she was good in doing it thanks to her skills. He was worried beyond measure; he just wanted her to come back to him. It's my fault; I shouldn't have said that to her. Now she's gone, he reprimanded himself and headed towards his bedroom to meditate and calm himself.  
  
A veces me da por volver a pensar,  
  
En esos días que el tiempo borro,  
  
Y en las huellas que dejo.  
  
Sometimes it gives me to think again,  
  
In those days that time erased,  
  
And in the marks it left.  
  
He started to think about all the good memories that he and Misao had. It was many years ago when he used to play with her. He was her friend and guardian during that time, before he left. When he left he kept her image, her cheerfulness, and love in his heart. It was forever etched in his memory, they were marks in his heart, marks that would never fade away.  
  
Y cada vez que me alejo te siento mas,  
  
Y cada vez es mas fuerte el sentimiento,  
  
De que algún día podrás volver,  
  
A sanar nuestro amor.  
  
And every time I go away I feel you more,  
  
And every time the feeling is stronger,  
  
That someday you'll be able to come back,  
  
To heal our love.  
  
He had left, but still he felt her presence surrounding his entire being. But now she had left him and her presence had vanished. He just hopped that she'll come back soon to comfort him with her presence again, with her smile and her love.  
  
A veces me da por correr y escapar,  
  
Por la ventana o que nunca te di,  
  
Lo que siempre te escondí.  
  
Sometimes it gives me to run and escape,  
  
Through the window or that I never gave you,  
  
What I always hid from you.  
  
Since he came back he avoided her. The first reason was to meditate about all the sins he committed, but the reason changed after he forgave himself. He started to feel something strange, something that he had never felt before. It was a feeling, a feeling that confused him. He started to feel something towards her, it was love. But he always hid it, he didn't want her to know because he felt himself unworthy of her love.  
  
Y cada vez que me alejo te siento mas,  
  
Y cada vez es mas fuerte el sentimiento,  
  
De que algún día podrás volver,  
  
A sanar nuestro amor.  
  
And every time I go away I feel you more,  
  
And every time the feeling is stronger,  
  
That someday you'll be able to come back,  
  
To heal our love.  
  
But every time he tried to avoid her, he felt more love. He wanted to hold her, to kiss her, and be with her forever. But his stubbornness kept him from doing all those things.  
  
Tal vez algún día lejano, quizás,  
  
Te vuelva encontrar,  
  
Tal vez algún día lejano, quizás,  
  
Te pueda olvidar,  
  
Te pueda olvidar, te pueda olvidar,  
  
Amor.  
  
Maybe someday, far away, perhaps,  
  
I will find you again,  
  
Maybe someday, far away, perhaps,  
  
I can forget you,  
  
I can forget you, I can forget you,  
  
Love.  
  
Now that she left, he didn't know what to do. Maybe she'll come back to him, or maybe she won't. Maybe she'll forget about him and leave him alone for the rest of his miserable life.  
  
Y cada vez que me alejo te siento mas,  
  
Y cada vez es mas fuerte el sentimiento,  
  
De que algún día podrás volver,  
  
A sanar nuestro amor.  
  
And every time I go away I feel you more,  
  
And every time the feeling is stronger,  
  
That someday you'll be able to come back,  
  
To heal our love.  
  
Maybe he should just bury his love for her and move on, but no matter how much he tried the feeling kept coming back. Maybe he'll have to just wait for her to come back and then he would confess his feelings. After that it'll be her decision to accept him or reject him.  
  
Tal vez algún día lejano, quizás,  
  
Te vuelva encontrar,  
  
Tal vez algún día lejano, quizás,  
  
Te pueda olvidar,  
  
Te pueda olvidar, te pueda olvidar.  
  
Maybe someday, far away, perhaps,  
  
I will find you again,  
  
Maybe someday, far away, perhaps,  
  
I can forget you,  
  
I can forget you, I can forget you.  
  
Now he had two choices: either find her or forget her. But for now he didn't know which one to choose. Time will choose for him. Misao wherever you are I'll wait for you, he said before going to sleep, to dream about her.  
  
YAHOO, ANOTHER CHAPTER!!!! SO DID YOU LIKE IT? THE SONG IS FROM A COLOMBIAN ROCK GROUP CALLED "JUANES", THE TITTLE OF THE SONG IS "A FAR AWAY DAY." WELL, I KNOW THIS IS ALL CALM AND DRAMATIC, BUT DON'T WORRY THERE'S GOING TO BE ACTION IN THE FOLLOWING CHAPTERS. THERE HAS TO BE A FIGHT OR ELSE I WON'T BE HAPPY. I LOVE MARTIAL ARTS AND SWORDS, HEHE. THAX TO THE FIRST REVIEWERS OF THIS STORY:  
  
Battousai rk8520: Thank u veeeeeeeery much for your review, and guess what, u are the first person to review my first fic ever!!! Thanx!!  
  
Metajoker: Thank u to u to for reviewing, well I had it all nice and typed in my computer, but I don't know what happened when I downloaded in Fanfiction.net, weird, anyway, I'll try to figure out the problem.  
  
Chris: Thank u very much!!! Well here's the 2nd chapter, I know I didn't update it right away, is because I wanted some reviews first. Yep Misao is angsty here, but she'll change, you'll see, hehehe, oh I'm evil!!! But thanx for reading!!!!  
  
WELL DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW AND EMAIL ME FOR ANYTHING!! SAYONARA FOR NOW MINNA!!!!!  
  
. 


	3. Going under

Usual disclaimers apply as always. Don't sue, u won't get anything, I swear!!!!  
  
Chapter Three: Going Under (second version)  
  
No one has found me yet, good, she thought. She had spent a week in the mountains, well hidden. She didn't want to go back to that place. I would like to go to Tokyo, but they might take me back to the Aoiya. I must be alone, but what am I going to do? She asked herself while watching rain clouds forming in the sky. She decided to find a shelter and started to jump on the tree branches.  
  
She was in a cave and started to make a fire to warm herself. She had gone fishing to get food and distract herself, but the rain came and she had to quit. I love watching the rain, it comforts me, but at the same time it makes me sad, she thought. And without thinking, Aoshi came to haunt her again. No! I have to forget about him, I'm suppose to start a new life!  
  
Now I will tell you what I've done for you,  
  
50 thousand tears I've cried,  
  
Screaming, deceiving, and bleeding for you,  
  
And you still won't hear me.  
  
Something warm was on her cheeks, tears? Again? Exactly that's what she had done ever since he came back to the Aoiya. But not just that, she suffered internally every single moment of her life since he left, and even more when he came back and ignored her.  
  
Don't want your hand, this time I'll save myself,  
  
Maybe I'll wake up for once,  
  
Not tormented, daily defeated by you,  
  
Just when thought I'd reached the bottom,  
  
I'm dying again.  
  
Now she had left to discover herself for once. She had escaped from him and his coldness. She opened her eyes and realized that she should have done that before, help herself. But even after the realization she still cried.  
  
I'm going under,  
  
Drowning in you,  
  
I'm falling forever,  
  
I've got to break through,  
  
I'm going under.  
  
She was drowning in the same despair and sadness again, why, why? I'm already starting a new life, a new beginning, why?  
  
Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies,  
  
So I don't know what's real and what's not,  
  
Always confusing the thoughts in my head,  
  
So I can't trust myself anymore,  
  
I'm dying again.  
  
I'm going under,  
  
Drowning in you,  
  
I'm falling forever,  
  
I've got to break through.  
  
After many moons have passed, after confusion, fantasy, and false hopes, she saw the truth, reality. That's when she saw herself dying.  
  
So go on and scream,  
  
Scream at me I'm so far away,  
  
I won't be broken again,  
  
I've got to breathe, I can't keep going under.  
  
Wiping her last tears from her blushed cheeks, she made a decision, to go on. Become stronger, change, and mature. She didn't care now for anyone, especially him. If he called her, she won't listen, I had enough! I won't let him brake my soul again, I've got to go on, I can't keep going under.  
  
She picked up her stuff when the rain stopped and walked out of the cave. She walked through the forest for three days. At noon she rested to have lunch when suddenly some shadows appeared on the trees. Look's like I have company. Onmitsus, I'll have to fight against them with my kunai, hopefully with them will be enough, She thought while taking a defensive position. Suddenly one of them emerged from the trees and started to attack Misao with his shuriken. After a while they both ran out of weapons and just when she was going to use her kempo, he stopped. She was waiting for his next move, but he just walked towards her and spoke in a low and very masculine voice.  
  
"Are you an Oniwabanshuu? Misao Makimachi to be specific?" She just stared at him and realized that he had the same uniform the other members had. "Yes I am, were you sent to look for me? Because if that's the case I won't go back to the Aoiya" she replied rather angry at being found by the Oniwabanshuu. "So you're our famous new Okashira, don't worry we won't do anything that our Okashira doesn't want us to do. We heard about your escape, but obviously you must have had a good reason to do it. You must be tired, come to our base and rest Okashira, we are at your disposition" he said to her while bowing after her. "Ryu Akai at your service Okashira." Misao just stood there, he was not going to take her to the Aoiya and besides no one had ever respected her as Okashira and yet this man was bowing after her. "You can call me Misao, there's no need to call me Okashira, Akai-san" she said while picking up her luggage, which was just a sac of necessities. "All right Misao-sama, come this way please," Ryu said when jumping on a tree. Misao just jumped and followed him to the base along with the other onmitsus.  
  
The other four men introduced themselves as Aoi Tsuyosa, Haiiro Hokori, Kuro Sonkei, and Yoru Murasaki. They respected her highly as the Okashira has to be respected. The base was a fortress in the deepest part of the forest where surely no one will find her, that is if they don't say anything. She trusted them and felt herself proud.  
  
After spending one day she left to sit by herself to think. That is when Aoshi came to her mind. Suddenly she heard some noise and Ryu came out of the bush. "How you're doing Misao-sama? You seem to be troubled by something, or someone," he said staring into her blue eyes. She didn't notice before, but Ryu was handsome. Tall with muscular complexity, he had some black bangs hanging on his right eye, and those eyes they were deep black with some crimson in them too. "It's nothing I was just thinking of Ao-" she almost told him about Aoshi. How dumb I am, now he's going to ask me, she thought. "Don't worry Misao-sama, you can tell me what's troubling you, you can confide in me that is if you want," Ryu said and showed her in his eyes that he was being honest. She sighed and told him about Aoshi and their "relationship" if you could call the one sided conversations they shared once a day, and also of her unworthiness as Okashira. "So that's the reason you ran away? I used to know Shinomori-san long time ago, you shouldn't let him get the better of you. You must be strong and also you're not unworthy of being our Okashira, if you want we can train you so you can become stronger" he said waiting for her reply. Become stronger, maybe that's what I need and I will be able to forget him, "yes I would like to be trained, I want to become stronger" she said with a new light of joy. "All right then tomorrow morning we'll start your training Misao- sama, oyasumi nasai" He said to her and left to his room. And I assure you , Misao-sama, that you will be strong, stronger than him, Ryu said mentally to himself with a mysterious smile, surely this will be interesting.  
  
I'm going under,  
  
Drowning in you,  
  
I'm falling forever,  
  
I've got to break through,  
  
I'm going under.  
  
Yay three done, who knows how many more to go, haha. Well sorry If I didn't update quick enough, the Mexican elections here in my town got crazy and in result got me busy. Oh yeah I know no one will care, but guess what, my dad won the mayor position!!!! Hehe Oh yeah one more thing before I go to respond the reviewers, I love to make friends from all over this wacko world we live in, so if u want to email me and chat with me for whatever reason here's my email misao137@hotmail.com and misaoaoshi7@yahoo.com. I would like, but doesn't have to, to meet people from Tucson, Arizona, or just form Arizona. I'm going to the U of A to study media arts and I don't know anyone from Tucson, so please email me!!! Ok then, on with the reviews!!:  
  
Battousai rk8520: Aaaahhh!!! Don't devour my soul!!! Haha j/k. Well thanx for reviewing again, and here's the next chap!!! On with the show!!  
  
Chris: well here's chap 3!! Well yeah my silly husband does have feelings for me, but u know he can be so dumb and clueless sometimes, hehe, and yep Misao talks now, that means me, I didn't confuse right?  
  
Crazy authoress fangirl of CAF: Thank u for reviewing!!! Oh yeah do u want to be called CAF better? And thank u for your compliments, I thought people would actually say "this story sucks!" hehe  
  
Well sayonara minna, have to be here for my dad, I'll try to update as soon as I can, Ja ne and don't forget to review for whatever reason!!!! 


	4. Kung Fu Devil

Disclaimers apply I don't own RK characters, well except for my own original characters.  
  
Chapter Four: Kung-Fu Devil  
  
Well, the training was going well for our favorite ninja girl, but still she didn't feel at all that powerful. She felt like the training was like a practice. Ryu noticed her discomfort so after two weeks he decided to ask her the reason of her discomfort.  
  
"You have been rather bothered by something after the first training week, is there something the matter Misao-san?" Ryu asked her, she had asked him to stop calling her sama so he opted for san. "Well I don't feel anything different from before, aren't I suppose to learn new techniques to become stronger? She answered her with some annoyance in her voice. "Well you should have told me Misao-san, so you definitely want to become stronger?" he asked knowing what her answer would be. "Of course I want to! I want to be strong as an Okashira must be! I don't care what it takes, just train me to become stronger!" she said that in anger, of course she wanted to become strong, but she didn't still know the true reason for it.  
  
It's said and done, there is no turning back.  
  
I've made my choice, now I've gotta face the facts.  
  
Within myself, the hunger won't be subdued,  
  
because I can't have my cake and eat it too.  
  
"All right then, I guess I'll have to teach you the Kodachi Nitou Ryu then," he said waiting for her question. "What?! Aoshi-sa- err Shinomori's technique?!" she couldn't believe her ears, that was impossible. "haha, yes it is, I used the same technique for a while but opted for something more, we learned it together, and I still remember the moves, so what do you say Misao-san?" he really wanted to know what was going inside her head at this moment, but guessed that she must be in shock or something. "Wow, I can't believe it, I can actually be strong with that technique, please teach me and I'll become strong, stronger than any Okashira has ever be!" she said to Ryu. Unfortunately she didn't quite notice that she was so obsessed with the idea of becoming stronger that she didn't care for the consequences that would come later on.  
  
I'm worn down from fighting with myself.  
  
I'll save my life and lose my mental health.  
  
I'm wigging out, everything is turning round.  
  
A bitter taste-no comfort can be found.  
  
Months passed by and she was becoming better and better, but something else was happening to her at the same time too. Only in her mind was the word "strong," but attached to that word were also the feelings of hate, rejection, and despair. Little by little she was being consumed by them, becoming an exact mental replica of Aoshi's state after his comrades deaths, when his obsession to kill Battousai was eating him alive.  
  
An emptiness wells inside of me, there's no filling the void that will  
always be.  
  
A self-control is all I have to hold.  
  
It's been too long.  
  
Maybe I have been to bold.  
  
When you're by your own  
  
conviction discipline can be your addiction.  
  
After four years, she had learned everything that Ryu knew of the technique and he also taught her other moves made by him. She was ready and felt a strange urge to do something with her new strength, without really knowing that she actually has a thirst for blood.  
  
I'm worn down from fighting with myself.  
  
I'll save my life and lose my mental health.  
I've gone this far so I'll keep trying.  
  
Continue to fight, I hope that I don't end up dying.  
  
Hell-o everyone, yes, yes, I know this chapter is short, but bear with me, I have to go out for a couple of days, when I come back I'll make the next chap, oki? Well anywho, looks like just few people have reviewed, come on minna, I need some more reviews to know if what I'm doing is right, of if you have some suggestions send them to me, oki? Oh yeah I forgot to say that the song from chapter three was "Going Under" by Evanescence, my favorite band in the whole world!!! This chapter's song is called "Kung-Fu Devil" by A.F.I. Well said that, on with the reviewers (or just one reviewer in this case):  
  
Chris: Thank you soooooo much for keeping on reading my story. Hehe well I know that's true about Aoshi, he's always like that. Of course there are some mysteries in this fic, hehe, I like to do that. And no, they aren't going to send a note to the Aoiya, they are loyal to her, but for different reasons...  
  
Oh yeah, also I wanted to tell you people that I made a two part songfic about Tomoe and Kenshin, please read it!!, second part will be soon up. Well Ja ne minna and please I beg you, review!!!!! "Aaaaah! Stynki humans!!!", guess who says that. 


	5. Breathe No More

Usual disclaimers apply, I don't own Rurouni Kenshin, got it?!  
  
Chapter Five: Breathe no more  
  
I've been looking in the mirror for so long.  
  
That I've come to believe my souls on the other side.  
  
Oh the little pieces falling, shatter.  
  
Shards of me,  
  
To sharp to put back together.  
  
To small to matter,  
  
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces.  
  
If I try to touch her,  
  
And I bleed,  
  
I bleed,  
  
And I breathe,  
  
I breathe no more.  
  
A covered figure walked through the outskirts of the city, no one could see its face due to the hood that covered it. It was quietly passing through one of the streets when suddenly a group of men surrounded it, they were bandits. "Hehe, what do we have here? A traveler wandering alone by himself. Give us your money and nothing will happen to you," said one tall and ugly man who appeared to be the leader of the group. The covered person didn't move so the bandits got desperate and attacked it. Unfortunately for them this was going to be the last crime they would ever do. In just a blur all of them lay on the street. They didn't get a chance to scream for they were killed instantly in a very calculated movement. The wind blew the person's hood and revealed a pale face, long ,black bangs hanging from each side, and a long, low, ponytail. But what was more noticeable in the person was the eyes. They were a dark blue, there was no light in them, they held no emotion, only coldness. One of the bandits who had been hiding behind a tree looked at the person and couldn't believe what he saw. "A.a.woman?!" he said, but became terrified when the woman turned and saw him. He didn't get a chance to escape, he was killed quickly and without mercy. A man came from the shadows and stood next to her. "Well done, looks like you are ready for anything," he said smiling evilly at the scene in front of him. "I'm tired of practicing with bandits," the woman said with some irritation. "Don't worry, we're close to our destination, there you will be able to prove yourself," he said to her, knowing very well that they were close to the place they were heading. "Let's go," she said to him. "All right, Misao-sama," he said and made a signal to the other men who were hiding in the shadows and followed her.  
  
Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirits well.  
  
Yet again you refuse to drink like a stubborn child.  
  
Lie to me,  
  
Convince me that I've been sick forever.  
  
And all of this,  
  
Will make sense when I get better.  
  
I know the difference,  
  
Between my reflection and myself.  
  
I just can't help but to wonder,  
  
Which of us do you love.  
  
'The wind feels strange' thought Aoshi as he walked towards his office. He stepped inside the room and went to his desk. When he sat down he heard a lot of noise, and hopped that it was Misao. She had been away for 4 years already and nothing has been heard of her. But then he remembered that there were visitors in the Aoiya, the Kenshin-gumi to be precise. He didn't feel in a mood to go downstairs to see them. He was actually worried about an assassination that happened 3 days ago. A skilled fighter killed many bandits with just few strikes. He wanted to know who that warrior was and if he could be trusted. He was tired with all the different thoughts invading his mind, but of course one will always be on top of the rest, Misao. He decided to go outside to clear his mind. He watched the sky was being partially covered by rain clouds and a cool wind was blowing through the garden.  
  
So I bleed,  
  
I bleed,  
  
And I breathe,  
  
I breathe now...  
  
Suddenly out of nowhere, many shuriken flew towards him. He saw them just in time to avoid them, but surprisingly one of them hit near his head and went through the wall. But it wasn't a shuriken, it was a kunai.  
  
Kenshin sensed that they had unwanted company and ran to the garden where he found Aoshi taking a defensive stance. He sensed some beings hidden in the trees and quickly drew his sword ready to fight. One of them jumped off the tree and stood in the middle of the garden. Aoshi couldn't see his face for it was covered with a hood. A wind started to blow through the garden and the hood fell revealing the person who obviously was the leader of the group.  
  
Kaoru and the rest went to the garden and gasped along with Kenshin and Aoshi. Aoshi couldn't believe, the clothed figure was no other than Misao.  
  
Bleed,  
  
I bleed,  
  
And I breathe,  
  
I breathe,  
  
I breathe-  
  
I breathe no more.  
  
Author's notes:  
Bwahahahhahaahaaaaa!!!! Hehe sorry for the cliffhanger, I promise to continue soon. Sorry for not updating soon but I left to visit my cousins and my dad's family in Hermosillo, Sonora, Mexico, and well I stayed for a week there, hehe. The song "Breathe no more" is from, tada tada, Evanescence, duh! Hehe well I just love that band, they have given me more sense to my life. Well looks like not many people have been reviewing, oh well. On with the reviews!!!:  
  
Chris: Well hehe, why do u think I wrote that summary eh? Hehe, don't worry I'll continue son, I have to, before college starts. Ja ne to arigatou gozaimas!!  
  
Dragona: Thank u sooooooo much!!!! I actually wanted someone to send a constructed review. Well I don't know what's happening to ff.net because in Word I had it all nice and typed and when I downloaded, it got screwed up!! I'll try to fix the problem. And thanks for your suggestion of "Fallen," I'll consider it!!! Thank u!!!  
  
Rae: Arigatou gozaimas!!!!!! Thank u for your review, don't worry about Arizona, it's ok, I like to make friends from around the world anyway! Would u like to be my friend? I like to portray Misao like this, I want her to be strong. And also thank u for congratulating my dad, it will be hard for him, but he'll do it right.  
  
Well Ja ne minna to onegai review!!!!! Please? 


	6. Fields of Innocence

Usual disclaimers apply.  
  
Kaoru and the rest went to the garden and gasped along with Kenshin and Aoshi. Aoshi couldn't believe, the clothed figure was no other than Misao.  
  
Chapter Six: Fields of Innocence  
  
I still remember the world,  
  
from the eyes of a child,  
  
Slowly those feelings were clouded,  
  
by what I know now.  
  
Misao only stared coldly at Aoshi, she didn't care about the other persons there. Suddenly rage and anger where starting to attack her heart and without a second thought she threw her cloak, unsheathed her weapon and went directly towards Aoshi. He only had time to barely dodge the attack, but still he received a slight cut from the weapon. Misao did a black flip and stood on one of the rocks that were in the garden. He took a moment to fully see her and was surprised to see how much she had changed over the years. She was a little bit taller, her bangs were longer, she didn't have the braid anymore, instead she had a low ponytail. Her uniform was black and had the three belts instead of the pink ribbon, along with it she had black gloves made of leather. Also to his surprise she had two kodachis, one of them being the one she used to attack him with. Who knows what other weapons she may have hidden in her uniform.  
  
Where has my heart gone?  
  
An uneven trade for the real world.  
  
I want to go back to,  
  
Believing in everything and knowing nothing at all.  
  
But what impressed him the most were her eyes, cold like ice. They were dark blue with not a single hint of light in them. 'Where are her feelings, where has her heart gone?' Aoshi kept thinking.  
  
I still remember the sun,  
  
Always warm on my back.  
  
Somehow it seems colder now.  
  
"After five years we meet again Shinomori," she said with a formidable tone that surprised him. He had expected her to talk but not in this way and addressing him with his last name. She had definitely changed and it scared him. "Five years, is a long time, uh? But enough time to master the Kodachi Nitou Ryu sword technique, didn't I proved it three days ago?" she said that coldly, making Aoshi to question himself what did she mean. He realized what she was talking about. She had been the one who murdered mercilessly the gangsters from three days ago using her new powerful sword technique.  
  
Where has my heart gone?  
  
Trapped in the eyes of a stranger.  
  
I want to go back to,  
  
Believing in everything.  
  
Without warning she charged towards Aoshi again ready to kill him. He just kept yelling her name and to stop, but she didn't seem to hear a word he said.  
  
Omasu had seen the Kenshingumi go to the garden and soon followed. When she got there she couldn't believe what she saw. Her dear friend had come back, but she looked different. She was cruelly attacking the person she loved and looked determined to finish him. She couldn't stand it any longer, she didn't want Misao to make a mistake and kill her dear Aoshi, she had to stop this. Omasu ran and stood in front of her. She had expected for Misao to stop, but she didn't.  
  
Where has my heart gone?  
  
An uneven trade for the real world.  
  
I want to go back to,  
  
Believing in everything.  
  
The kodachi went through Omasu's left shoulder with great speed. "You shouldn't have got in my way," said Misao coldly. Omasu couldn't believe it and when Misao looked like she was going to attack again, Kenshin stood in front of her and blocked her attack. Ryu saw this and quickly came out of the shadows to stop Misao from going any further. He didn't know that the infamous batousai was going to be present. "Misao-sama we must retreat, you may finish later," he told her. Misao just nodded, looked at Aoshi while picking up her cloak, and left jumping on the branches of the deep, dark forest.  
  
Where has my heart gone? Trapped in the eyes of a stranger. I want to go back to, Believing in everything.  
  
Aoshi couldn't believe that Misao had attacked Omasu without a care in the world. He couldn't think a reason for Misao to be that strong and with a cold heart, but the moment he saw Akai Ryu, he knew that he had been the one who changed her, the one who had trapped her heart. He knew now that he must find them to get Misao back before it was too late, before she would kill a loved one.  
  
I still remember.  
  
Author's note: Yay there it is chapter six, I didn't like how it came out, guess I have too many things in my mind right now. If any of you have any suggestions send them to me, I still don't know if to end it tragically or happily, or maybe I might have both, aarg my mind's a mess!!! Oh well, review people to tell me how much this chapter sucked or if you actually liked it. The song is called "Fields of Innocence" by Evanescence from the "Origin" album, which is the first album they ever released, I don't know if it suited the chapter well, but this song inspired me to write it. On with the reviews:  
  
Rae: Hi, wow you liked the chapter? I thought it sucks, well I don't know, but hey thanx!!! Well yep I had a lot of fun visiting my cousins, hehe, a lot of fun, went clubbin' and such, it was great!! I needed to get out of this town for a while. Great, hopefully will chat soon!! Sayonara to arigatou gozaimas!!!  
  
Dragona: First thanx so much for reviewing!! The song "Breath no More" is a demo from the band. The song "Bring me to Life" is from "Fallen," and yep you guessed it right, I'll be using it!! Good luck with your Yu Gi Ho stories, tell me later when you put one, but let me tell you that personally I don't know much about YGH, I have rarely watched it. But thanx anyway and arigatou gozaimas!!  
  
Hikage Kitsune: Well here's the chapter hope you like it. Thanx for reviewing and hopefully I surprised you with this dark chapter, bwawahahahahahhahaha, lol.  
  
Well that's it minna, and don't worry I'll update next Monday, well that is, if I get REVIEWS!!!!! Bye bye!! 


	7. Whisper

Usual disclaimers apply as always, I hate writing this sentence!!  
  
Chapter Seven: Whisper  
  
Omasu was taken care by Megumi, fortunately it had only gone through the flesh and it had not affected an important vein. Still, everyone was shocked by what Misao had turned into, a deadly killer with no emotions and care in the world. Aoshi was the most scared, it was like seeing himself when he was training to kill the batousai. He went to search for Kenshin to talk about a way to bring Misao back and also to tell him why he thought that Akai Ryu was behind all this.  
  
Meanwhile, outside Kyoto, in the deep, dark forest.  
  
Misao was sitting on a branch thinking about what happened yesterday, a feeling of guilt was starting to emerge when Ryu appeared. "Don't feel guilty, remember what I told you, he doesn't care about you, he even fought against you, he left you and you have no one in the Aoiya who loves you, so don't feel sympathy for them," he said that to her and left, knowing well that what he told her would confuse her and she would stay the way she is, the way he wanted, cold.  
  
Catch me as I fall,  
  
Say you're here and it's all over now,  
  
Speaking to the atmosphere,  
  
No one's here and I fall into myself,  
  
This truth drives me into madness,  
  
I know I can stop the pain if I will it all away.  
  
But a little voice was telling her:  
  
Don't turn away,  
  
Don't give in to the pain,  
  
Don't try to hide,  
  
Though they're screaming your name,  
  
Don't close your eyes,  
  
God knows what lies behind them,  
  
Don't turn off the lights,  
  
Never sleep, never die.  
  
'NO!!! I have to be like this, I hate him. I have my allies, especially Ryu-san, he helped me to see the truth. 'But you became scared after you hurt Omasu, if you don't stop you'll do worse!' her mind told her desperately.  
  
I'm frightened by what I see,  
  
But somehow I know that there's much more to come.  
  
Immobilized by my fear,  
  
And soon to be blinded by tears.  
  
I can stop the pain if I will it all away.  
  
Again her heart was telling her while she tried to cover her ears:  
  
Don't turn away,  
  
Don't give in to the pain,  
  
Don't try to hide,  
  
Though they're screaming your name,  
  
Don't close your eyes,  
  
God knows what lies behind them,  
  
Don't turn off the lights,  
  
Never sleep, never die.  
  
"I have my allies, I have the Oniwabanshuu, I'm the Okashira and I must get rid of any unwanted individuals who try to endanger the clan!" she told herself and Ryu came back. "Let's go Misao-sama, we have to prepare our weapons for the final battle" he said while offering her his hand to take. She hesitated for a second and took it, without knowing that Ryu was actually her end, the one who was killing her inside with all his whispered words.  
  
Fallen angels at my feet.  
  
Whispered voices at my ear.  
  
Death before my eyes,  
  
Lying next to me I fear.  
  
She beckons me shall I give in,  
  
Upon my end shall I begin.  
  
Forsaking all I've fallen for I rise to meet the end.  
  
When she was walking and closing all her emotions her heart cried desperately one last time:  
  
Don't turn away,  
  
Don't give in to the pain,  
  
Don't try to hide,  
  
Though they're screaming your name,  
  
Don't close your eyes,  
  
God knows what lies behind them,  
  
Don't turn off the lights,  
  
Never sleep, never die.  
  
There chapter seven, I was greatly inspired by this song called "Whisper" by Evanescence, again. I like both "Origin" and "Fallen" versions, they are soooooo good!!!! I hope you all like this story, even a reader called it an "evanescence" fic, and I love that!! I know I don't write much because I like the rest of the chapter for the song to complete and the reader to imagine in their minds, get it right?  
  
Chris37: Haha surprised u uh? Lol. Well yep she's like him. I wanted Aoshi to taste a bit of his own medicine, well here's the new chap.  
  
Liemtenshi: Thank u for liking it!!! Well yeah I want her to kick his ass, is because he can be such an idiot sometimes. Well I'm still thinking, but if u have any ideas email them to me to misaoaoshi7@yahoo.com, oki? Sayonara.  
  
Ice Demoness: Thanx!! Well here's more for your fanfiction thirst!!  
  
Hikage kitsune: Well here it is, great u liked last chap!!  
  
Well that's it minna, for now. Please review and if u have any suggestions for the story email me to misaoaoshi7@yahoo.com, Onegai!! 


	8. Lies

Disclaimers apply now and forever! Geez!  
  
Chapter Eight: Lies  
  
Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear,  
  
Sealed with lies through so many tears,  
  
Lost from within, pursuing the end,  
  
I fight for the chance to be lied to again.  
  
One, Two, Three, Strike! Crashing of swords could be heard in the deep, deep forest. If a normal person would venture deep enough to see who or what caused that noise, he or she would see only shadows moving incredibly fast, and before he or she could turn, hit, and run, one of the shadows would have killed him or her instantly. Misao was doing some training before the true last battle against Shinomori Aoshi, the cause of her devastating state. She picked up her swords and made a signal to her followers and headed towards the Aoiya.  
  
You will never be strong enough,  
  
You will never be good enough,  
  
You were never conceived in love,  
  
You will not rise above.  
  
'I've cried enough, now I'm strong enough and good enough to defeat him,' she thought to herself. Oh but lies oh lies is what covered her mind, all thanks to Ryu who replaced her tears with lies about strength and revenge. How easy could a broken mind be manipulated? A mind and heart that have never been loved back, maybe physically the person is strong, but inside is weak, weak, weak. Just brainwash the mind with whispered words and there you go, a mind in turmoil and ready for your disposition, like a doll, a puppet, an Okashira puppet who thinks that she has the authority when in reality she's being manipulated.  
  
They'll never see,  
  
I'll never be,  
  
I'll struggle on and on to feed this hunger,  
  
Burning deep inside of me.  
  
Close, so close to her destination, she just couldn't wait in anticipation, her sword screamed for blood, his blood! She came to full view in back of the Aoiya where everyone was waiting to see the battle take place. Oh there he was with a sorry look waiting for her.  
  
But through my tears breaks a blinding light,  
  
Birthing a dawn to this endless night,  
  
Arms outstretched, awaiting me,  
  
An open embrace upon a bleeding tree.  
  
He opened is arms and talked, "Misao stop this madness now! Come back to us, to me, please I beg you." Something inside her moved, but upon seeing the tree he was next to, her memories came back in a flash and drew her sword. "No Shinomori! That day you started this madness, it's your own fault, and this tree stays as a symbol to it because it was like me, bleeding with its red leaves! Now I'll stop this suffering by eliminating the cause of it, you!" She yelled the last part by pointing the sword towards him "And besides am I not the Okashira? I must get rid of those who pose a treat to me and my clan's goals," and without another second to waste she charged. He had to draw his own kodachi; she was way too fast, probably on or above his level. She didn't stop, more counterattacks to his vital parts, she was just desperate to kill him. He took a chance and stopped her blade with his hand, recalling what Kenshin had told him in Shishio's headquarters. "Misao listen to me, what I said back then was for your own protection, I was a torn man who needed to know his purpose life, but I found out too late that it was you, I love you," he said while smiling at her. She was taken back by this and her walls started to break slowly.  
  
Rest in me and I'll comfort you,  
  
I have lived and I died for you,  
  
Abide in me and I vow to you,  
  
I will never forsake you.  
  
Ryu heard this and raced towards Misao. "He's lying Okashira! Stay with us, tell me who comforted you when you where hopelessly crying, who has dedicated his life now to you, and vowed to serve you forever.tell me who has never forsaken you?" that last statement had to had stroked a chord in Misao's mind, and it did. She still was fighting inside herself with Aoshi's confession and Ryu's "truth." Who's lying, which are lies and which are truths, whom to trust? Unfortunately Ryu saw that Aoshi's words were more effective, he couldn't risk his plan to take over the clan and Kyoto. "You're mine Misao and I'll finish him for you!" He yelled while running towards Aoshi. The clashing of swords could be heard at the same time as the red, orange, and yellow leaves were falling from the trees.  
  
TBC.  
  
There chapter eight!! *Dodges readers' swords* I'm soooooooooo sorry for not updating my story, I have a good excuse I swear! This is my first semester in college and I had to adjust, tons of essays to write, drawings, coloring to do for my new friend Matt's online comic, if you're interested go to . Now that I'm in winter break I'll try to finish this story once and for all. Hope you like it still. The song is "Lies" by Evanescence found in the "Origin" album, you can get it for 110 dlls at Ebay @o@ oro!!! Or just download it from Kazaa (just make sure to not get sued!). Well on to my loyal reviewers!!  
  
Chris37: Well hopefully you got an idea or a little of a foreshadowing and yes I wanted Aoshi to taste his own medicine, I'm evil! Just wait to find out!  
  
Dragona 2007: thank you for your compliments, I really thought my story sucked, but now I found out that people do like my story :D.  
  
Hikage Kitsune: Sooooooo sorry for not updating soon like you wanted, but here it is, better late than never, upps I think I gave out something.  
  
Kashii: don't kill me! But here is next chappie, I'll update soon!  
  
Rae: you've been very loyal to me, sorry for putting you down, but hopefully this mends my delay. Well here is this chapter, hope you liked it :D.  
  
Shinichi Dori Chan: You think she's more evil than yours? Cool! Well you'll have to wait to find out, but I'll try to not disappoint you! But I want to be harsh to Aoshi, he's been an idiot too long :P, J/K!  
  
Well there, Ja ne, Merry X-Mass, and Happy New Year! 


	9. Author's desperate note

Author's note:  
  
I'm mad and sad, why, I'll tell you why, because NO one has reviewed chapter eight. Come on people I beg you, review so I know what you think about my story. I don't care if you have an account in ff.net or not, as long as you review, I'll be happy. I already finished chapter nine, but again, I need those precious reviews, so I'll wait till at least one reader reviews. I already have two stories done and ready to post, but I want to finish this one first. Well Ja ne, and please understand me, because if you have ever wrote anything you know that a review helps you and cheers you up a lot.  
  
Misao Shinomori aka Adriana "The Dark One" 


	10. Understanding Wash It All Away

As usual disclaimers apply, :P  
  
Unfortunately Ryu saw that Aoshi's words were more effective, he couldn't risk his plan to take over the clan and Kyoto. "You're mine Misao and I'll finish him for you!" He yelled while running towards Aoshi. The clashing of swords could be heard at the same time as the red, orange, and yellow leaves were falling from the trees.  
  
Chapter Nine: Understanding (Wash It All Away)  
  
You hold the answers deep within your own mind.  
  
Consciously, you've forgotten it.  
  
That's the way the human mind works.  
  
Whenever something is too unpleasant, to shameful for us  
  
to entertain, we reject it.  
  
We erase it from our memories.  
  
But the imprint is always there.  
  
Aoshi and Ryu were one on one now, things have taken a different turn and Misao just stood there watching as they battled against each other. Whom to trust? "Aoshi.." whispered Misao, but her memories were coming back to that day, the day that marked her forever. She had forgotten the words, the look on his face, her cries, because it was way too painful, too unpleasant, too shameful for her, but the imprint is always there, and it was coming back at full force. Her eyes clouded and all she could see was that day and tears were threatening to run down her cheeks.  
  
(Can't wash it all away),  
  
(Can't Wish it all away),  
  
(Can't hope it all away),  
  
(Can't cry it all away),  
  
She tried desperately to erase, wash, hope, and lastly cry it all away. But it was impossible, the simple fact of being rejected and denied love was a huge pain for her, and to be not loved back, it meant death. So instead she closed herself in her own shell, but now the same person who put her in it was trying to get her out.  
  
The pain that grips you,  
  
The fear that binds you,  
  
Releases life in me,  
  
In our mutual,  
  
Shame we idolize,  
  
To blind them from the truth,  
  
That finds a way from who we are,  
  
Please don't be afraid,  
  
When the darkness fades away,  
  
The dawn will break the silence,  
  
Screaming in our hearts,  
  
My love for you still grows,  
  
This I do for you,  
  
Before I try to fight the truth my final time,  
  
Aoshi was fighting with all his force, Ryu was a formidable opponent that was for sure. Kodachi against kodachi, no one was giving in. However when Aoshi realized how much in pain and fear Misao was in, his adrenaline went up when he knew he needed to get rid of those feelings. He had hoped that her leaving, her journey would had led her to discover herself, find true love, and have a happy life, but instead she had now a life full of hate, suffering and despair. 'If only she hadn't met Ryu this wouldn't have happened, no! that's not true, it was my own fault, she was true to herself, unlike me who shamefuly covered the truth about my feelings, but I'll bring her back, I will before this battle ends,' he thought with a new sense of hope.  
  
"We're supposed to try and be real.  
  
And I feel alone, and we're not together. And that is real."  
  
Can't wash it all away,  
  
Can't wish it all away,  
  
Can't cry it all away,  
  
Can't scratch it all away.  
  
His words were sinking in her mind, "I Love you," he had said, was it true or was just another game, another lie her mind was doing. 'But Aoshi never says anything without meaning it. That day I knew it was a lie, but today, his words, were the..truth..' she slowly realized. She looked up and saw them fighting. Ryu gave a look towards Misao and saw a small glimmer in her eyes. 'Kuso! She's waking up! Stupid bitch!' he thought, but didn't notice Aoshi making a move and making him fall on the ground. "Looks like you haven't become better Ryu, now tell me what the hell have you done to her?" Aoshi said in a low and menacing voice making Ryu shudder. It wouldn't matter if he told the truth because his only weapon was failing him now, might as well tell the truth and escape, there were other ways he could rule Kyoto. "Hehe, well Shinomori, simple I told her the truth, you rejected her, and I as the loyal Oniwabanshuu that I am to the Okashira, I told her that the only way she could forget was to become stronger, and she achived it, but only in physically," he said with an annoyed tone. 'Maybe I can twist my words and make Misao sink deep within her darkness,' he thought rapidly before continuing. "Isn't it true Shinomori, you rejected her and told her to leave, you hurt her in many ways, and you still seek for her forgiveness? You must be a fool man to even think that, you deserve the same pain and rejection, no wait, you deserve death!" he screamed and Misao heard every single word.  
  
Lying beside you,  
  
Listening to you breathe,  
  
The life that flows inside of you,  
  
Burns inside of me,  
  
Hold and speak to me,  
  
Of love without a sound,  
  
Tell me you will live through this,  
  
And I will die for you,  
  
Cast me not away,  
  
Say you'll be with me,  
  
For I know I cannot,  
  
Bear it all alone.  
  
"You're not alone, honey."  
  
"Never... Never."  
  
Aoshi knew it was true, he was sure he would share her pain, the pain he caused, but he would mend it with his love, death wasn't the only option. He wouldn't leave her now, not anymore, too much wasted time, he would bear everything for her, he would live and die for her, for she is the only reason in his existence. Misao didn't move, she was still trapped in her mind. But the pain, the hate, the rejection were still there, what to do, whom to seek. She had looked for strength, but it didn't satisfy her, she had concealed her emotions, they still found their way out, what to do, what to do. She desperately thought:  
  
Can't fight it all away,  
  
Can't hope it all away,  
  
Can't scream it all away,  
  
It just won't fade away, No,  
  
Can't wash it all away,  
  
Can't wish it all away,  
  
Can't cry it all away,  
  
Can't scratch it all away.  
  
Ryu took advantage of Aoshi's altered mind and got away from his grip. He was a few meters away, waiting for Misao to take this chance and attack Aoshi. Aoshi just stayed standing there, waiting for Misao to make a decision and also making sure that Ryu wouldn't escape, for he knew that Misao was the only one who could decide what would be next.  
  
(Can't fight it all away),  
  
(Can't hope it all away),  
  
Can't scream it all away,  
  
Ooh, it all away,  
  
Ooh, it all away.  
  
Still she could mend it, she could move on and leave behind the past, why not, after all life is always like this, many bad things happen, but one must learn from them and 'I must get rid of the one who inflicted this on me, maybe it will never fade away, it will stay as an imprint, but new feelings can be born,' she thought as she gripped her kodachi and swiftly moved towards Aoshi and Ryu.  
  
"But the imprint is always there. Nothing is ever really forgotten."  
  
"Because I'm dying too."  
  
"Because I'm dying too."  
  
"Because I'm dying too."  
  
"Because I'm dying too."  
  
"Because I'm dying too."  
  
Author's note:  
Well there finally chapter nine *readers throw kunais at me* AAAHHHH!! :P Ok I do have an excuse this time, first of all I wanted to have reviews for chapter eight, and second, my freaking floppy disk damaged the file where I had chapter nine, so now that I'm back to Mexico for the holiday weekend I can uploaded from my pc. The song for today's fic, "Understanding (Wash It All Away)" is from Evanescence, such an awesome song, I love the intro of the original version. Anywayz enough rambling, here are the reviewers and I do hope I'll be able to finish chapter ten by next week.  
  
Scitzy: Well there you go! Thanks for reviewing, don't worry about the lateness, is better late then never, ne? I hope you like this chapter.  
  
817: No I won't forgive you :P, haha, j/k! Well let's see what happens to Ryu, yeah I hate him too grr, stupid Ryu making all the lies. Well you'll find out what happens in next episode err I mean chapter.  
  
Zhoujen: Thank you sooo much for reviewing, hopefully you like this chapter too!  
  
Lady Love Bug: Wow you REALLY hate Ryu don't you? Hehe, well believe me I might grant your wish, and thanks for reviewing!  
  
Kikio: I really liked your review, you know what, you are so right, how can people understand your suffering if you don't say anything? I learned that the hard way, so I have an idea of what you are talking about. Thank you sooooooo much for your review and hopefully you liked this chapter.  
  
Anonymouse: Thanks for the lyrics :D, believe me I will consider it and yep she without knowing turned into Aoshi, how sad ne? But don't worry something must be done.  
  
Well there you go my dear readers, I hope you continue reviewing and to suggest my story to your friends, please, a review always cheers me up, especially now that I'm in the chaos known as college life. Ja ne! 


	11. Forgive Me

Disclaimer's apply# even at the last sentence!

'.........she gripped her kodachi and swiftly moved towards Aoshi and Ryu.'

Chapter Ten: Forgive me

Can you forgive me again?

  
I don't know what I said,

  
But I didn't mean to hurt you.

  


Misao was coming towards their direction, what would she do now? Aoshi was just standing, waiting for her next move while Ryu was convinced that his words had penetrated her chaotic mind. All of a sudden she charged with great speed, so fast that her prey and the others were stunned, not for the fact that she was incredibly fast, but because she had decided to attack no other than him, no other than Aoshi. 

Her kodachi was pressed against his neck and her glance was directed to the ground, either she didn't feel like seeing him when she slashed him, or she had something else in mind. Seconds seemed like an eternity for Aoshi and for Ryu. Ryu for his part was more than pleased to see his dear "weapon" direct her attack towards the desired target, now he would just stand there and enjoy the killing.

I heard the words come out,

  
I felt that I would die,

  
It hurt so much to hurt you,

  


When Aoshi was getting desperate due to Misao's silent state, and when minutes seemed like an eternity, words were finally spoken through her lips. "Why did you lie to me Aoshi?" she spoke in a low whisper. He knew that she would ask sooner or later, but instead of avoiding the question like he used to before, he intended to do things right once and for all. "I started to have feelings towards you, but you were too much for me. I had already 'lived' my life, and it was your turn because there was nothing left for me to live for, or so I thought until I fell in love with you. Believe me when I tell you that I was dying inside when I told you those horrible words, I was hurting too, however when you left I thought that maybe you would forget about me and have a better life, or so I thought. Till now I realize that you were broken to the point that you gave in to anything, even to unconsciously turn cold and stoic, just like me."   
  
Then you look at me,

  
You're not shouting anymore,

  
You're silently broken.

  
  
I'd give anything now,

  
to kill those words for you.

She just started to shake and tears were slowly flowing from her blue eyes, eyes that even when hurt, were also recuperating their light. Aoshi continued because he knew this was his only chance of ever bringing her back to him, so he continued: "I would give anything to go back to that moment and erase all those things I said, however I know that is impossible and the least I can do now is to ask for your forgiveness."  
  
Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you."

  
But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah.  
  
'Cause you were made for me,

  
Somehow I'll make you see,

  
How happy you make me.

"And I ask for your forgiveness because I don't want to lose you again. I want to be with you if you would allow me to. This is your decision to make for I know, I feel, that there are still feelings deep inside of you. I knew all this time you were made for me, you bring me happiness beyond measure, you are my cure, and my whole reason of existence."  
  
I can't live this life,

  
Without you by my side,

  
I need you to survive.

"I can't go on without you, I can't live without you, for even if you live and I stay alive, my soul will die the moment you leave, and a body without a soul is nothing!" He looked intently at her face waiting for her response.  
  
So stay with me,

  
You look in my eyes and,

I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry.

  


"Stay with me. I love you," he whispered sweetly to her and she quickly looked up to his eyes. She could hear the sincerity in his words and see the truth in his eyes. He was sorry and best of all he admitted that he loves her and wants her to be with him!   


And you forgive me again,

  
You're my one true friend,

  
And I never meant to hurt you.

She slowly smiles giving a glow to her pale and fair face. "I see the truth now and.........I do forgive you Aoshi for I love you too!" she said happily to him, throws her kodachi to the side and hugs him furiously. 

Everyone is rejoicing now that Misao has finally woken up from her nightmare, or so they thought. Ryu was outraged and without even thinking raced towards Aoshi and Misao ready to finish them off.

Without them even knowing what was going on and before Ryu gave his war cry, Misao asked pleadingly to Aoshi, "Bring me to life." 

To be continued.........

Author's note:

Here Chapter 10! wow finally this story is coming to an end! I've been really busy with school, the coloring for the comic levelcomic.keenpace.com, my cousin's wedding, and tada tada! I got a job! *Everyone gasps, 'the world is coming to an end!'* Haha, don't worry I won't do chaos in my job, only wash the uniforms of cute guys and annoying, snobby girls, oh well. Anywayz the song is "Forgive Me" by Evanescence, duh! I hope this chapter was for your liking, and don't forget to review! Ja ne!

On with the reviews!:

Scitzy: Hehe well I guess I left it on another cliffhanger ne? Gomen! But don't worry the sorry is almost over.

SoT'n'Kenshin: Hehe I hope I ended your paranoia for a while, or at least till next chapter. Wow you really liked my story? thanx! I didn't know if my story was at least a little different from the usual. I know I started off like any other fic, but I wanted to give it a darker side. Evilness!!!

Anonymouse: Bwahaha more tension! Yep you'll be the guest of honor for the funeral, hehe, just remember to turn the switch on when I leave! See? I do take to consideration my reader's feelings.

Anonymous: Err don't want to be rude, but duh! Of course this is angsty, that's the only kind of fics I can write for my love life sucks and I can write about it :P. But still who ever you are thanks for the review!

Rae: I girl, missed ya! Hehe good you can understand the chaos I'm going through, but at least it has calmed down now. I hope you liked this chap! And email me sometime oki? Ja ne!

Redmoon_night: *blush* thank you sooo much!!! Well of course she must be strong, just like me and like other girls who even when they had a terrible love life, they still get up and fight! That's why I made this fic!

Well that's all folks, keep reviewing!


	12. Bring Me To Life

Usual disclaimers apply.

Without them even knowing what was going on and before Ryu gave his war cry, Misao asked pleadingly to Aoshi, "Bring me to life."

Chapter Eleven: Bring Me To Life.

How can you see into my eyes like open doors

Leading you down into my core

Where I've become so numb

Without a soul my spirit sleeping somewhere cold

Until you find it there and lead it back home

Walls can be crumbled, a heart can be restored. However there are ways around them, if someone wants to control the heart that is. Manipulation, extortion, are ways of controlling a shell well enough to the point of making them a puppet. Ryu knew that all too well. After all, he had been able to manipulate Misao and polished her into his own perfection. But everything has a flaw, and she was no exception. Humans are unstable with their emotions, yet tend to adapt to the situation at hand. Misao was doing just the same, yet in a different direction.

Her soul had been found by Aoshi and now she was finally waking up, finally going back to him, to her home.

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

Misao rushed towards Ryu, making their swords clash with amazing speed. This was her battle, this was her way of waking up and liberating herself from his whispered lies and meticulous net of false promises. Aoshi had definitely awoken her and saved her from a miserable life as a corrupted Okashira.

Ryu tried his hardest against her. Even though he knew her weaknesses, for he had taught her his fighting style, she wouldn't fall for one of his traps for she possessed that knowledge as well.

Now that I know what I'm without

You can't just leave me

Breathe into me and make me real

Bring me to life

'She came back, she has finally come back to me,' Aoshi thought with delight. After realizing what both had been missing, Aoshi was finally able to come in terms with Misao. However he felt somewhat uncomfortable watching her fight against Ryu, yet he knew too well that Misao wanted to regain her honor and dignity by defeating Ryu in a one on one battle. Therefore there was nothing left for Aoshi othen than to watch her finish her fight and come back to him.

(Wake me up)

Wake me up inside

(I can't wake up)

Wake me up inside

(Save me)

Call my name and save me from the dark

(Wake me up)

Bid my blood to run

(I can't wake up)

Before I come undone

(Save me)

Save me from the nothing I've become

Clash! The blow of their bloodthirsty swords sent them far apart from each other. Misao and Ryu kept staring at each other, not knowing who would be willing to move first. Sweat dripping off from their foreheads, pain throbbing from their limbs, they were slowly, but surely losing their strength. They both knew this would be the last blow, the last slash that would ultimately consume one of them and send them to the eternal oblivion.

Bring me to life

(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside)

Bring me to life

"I could say that I have wasted five years of my life with you Ryu, but you know what, I don't think that's the case at all," Misao said to him with a voice full of passion and fire, something that had been voided from her the moment she had killed her first victims. "Whatever do you mean?" He didn't know what to think of her words.

"I just realized that what I needed was a reality check, I guess I can thank you that much at least," she said with a grin while closing her eyes in reflection and understanding.

"I could care less! You could have been my most perfect creation, but you had to ruin everything didn't you. You and your stupid feelings, they are meaningless! Now I must not leave any mistakes behind!" Ryu screamed as he charged towards her.

Frozen inside without your touch without your love darling

Only you are the life among the dead

"Misao! Watch out!" Aoshi yelled at her, noticing that Ryu had unexpectedly charged towards her. Opening her bright, blue eyes in a flash, she held her kodachis with a strong grip and charged towards Ryu. Too enraged and distracted by his own fury, Ryu didn't notice that Misao used a completely different technique than the one he had taught her.

She took advantage of Ryu's distraught state in order to move fast behind him to deliver one final blow on his back.

"So you hid this from me then…I should have known you would do something like this…" He said, smiling one last time before being dragged to the dark depths of Pandemonium.

All this time I can't believe I couldn't see

Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me

I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems

Got to open my eyes to everything

Without a thought without a voice without a soul

Don't let me die here

There must be something more

Bring me to life

Tossing her sword to the side, Misao gave in to her tiredness and fell on her knees while staring at her blood stained hands. "I'm finally free right? This nightmare has ended right?" She told herself while trying to absorb what just had happened. Ryu was dead, she was free, and now she could go back to Aoshi. 'But is it really this easy?' she thought with some insecurity. She noticed that someone was standing next to her and started turning her head towards the person, when suddenly she was embraced in a powerful hug.

Aoshi was finally relieved that she was free from Ryu and her torture. He knew it would take time to amend the wounds inflicted by Misao on everyone and herself, but with time they would heal. He was just glad for this one moment, that he thought to himself 'cherish the present, think about the future later.'

She finally snapped out of her trance and looked up to see something unexpected, Aoshi was smiling. Everything that had happened, all the torture she had endured, they had endured was well rewarded. Aoshi was smiling, she was free and he loved her just as much as she loved him. "Is it really this easy Aoshi? Is it really going to be alright from now on?" Misao asked him afraid that something horrible would break this surreal moment.

"It won't be easy Misao, you and others were hurt. But with time all those wounds will be healed. Rest assured that everyone forgives you and loves you still. Come on we'll get a hold of the authorities to take Ryu's body away," Standing up, he offered his hand to her, whom hesitated at first, but instead of dread, she felt warmth, and took it.

Everyone had gone back to the Aoiya, while Aoshi and Misao stayed behind , taking their time to go back to their home.

"Aoshi…thank you, for everything. I love you and please forgive me," Misao said while casting down her head in shame.

Aoshi lifted her head up with his hand on her chin and kissed her softly. "We will work this out and help each other," He said while smiling at her.

She knew he meant it, but there was something missing which made her scowl.

Holding her gaze again he finally said "and I love you too Misao," replacing her scowl with a smile and making her feel alive once again.

Author's Note: There! Finally after 2 years I was able to overcome my procrastination and finish this story. The fact that my love life doesn't suck anymore (I have a boyfriend whom I've been with for a year and 2 months) and that I had inspiration to write a happy ending, made me write this final chapter. The song is "Bring Me To Life" by Evanescence, the song that inspired this fanfic of mine.

Here's a quick update of my life: I'm a junior, switched to Studio Art and I live with my boyfriend. Pretty crazy uh?

Well I hope you liked this last installment of "In The Darkness of Dawn." Bye bye!


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